how to model food & body neutrality this Christmas
It is important that we keep our food language neutral so that we can create a safe space for all foods to be enjoyed and bodies to be appreciated. This is so much easier said than done, particularly because so many of us have grown up with diets, negative comments about bodies, and unattainable body goals being so normalised. This year we can do things differently, and create a home environment that fosters a joyful relationship with food and body.
Before I give you some strategies to get you started, I want you to know that I don’t want you to feel any shame for what you might have said or done in the past. We are all part of a world where unrealistic body types, prolific dieting and excessive exercise are praised and admired. Even starting with just one of these can make a difference. There is no pressure, particularly so close to Christmas, to do it all.
With that said, here are some strategies to get you started:
avoid commenting on other people’s bodies
When we comment on our own bodies, or the bodies of others, it can lead young people to develop the belief that people are going to be judged on their appearance and can draw more attention to their own body.
focus on what your body can do
Where possible, express gratitude for the things your body can do. For example, “my arms are so strong for carrying those groceries”, “wow my legs really helped me get through that long walk this afternoon.” This helps young people to see that their bodies worth expands far further than their appearance.
call food what it is
What labels such as ‘good’, ‘bad’, ‘treat’, ‘naughty’, ‘healthy’ are trying to say, I think, is that some foods are more beneficial to our health than others. That’s not a disputed fact. But, labelling foods in such an arbitrary way can cause a young person to feel shame for the choices they have made. There is space for all foods to be enjoyed.
model what it looks like to enjoy a wide variety of foods
Invite your young person to try something new if they’re curious and open it.
check in with your young person often
Ask them how they’re feeling about their body, how they feel about food, and if there are things you can do together to support one another. Keeping the dialogue open, reminds your young person they can turn to you.
I hope you find these helpful and, remember, there is no pressure to get this right every single time. There is always another opportunity to course correct and reframe what has been said. I spoke in detail about a number of these strategies at my parent webinar in November. If you missed it, here is the link to listen.
Sending you and your family lots of love and light for Christmas ✨
