let’s talk about generational dieting
Generational dieting is the idea that we have been impacted by the way our parents, our grandparents, and so on have been impacted by dieting and food issues. The influence can be both direct and indirect.
Growing up, my family never forced me to diet or anything like that, but they did diet in front of me and made negative comments about their appearance. From a young age I saw that the goal was to be ‘skinny’ because only then would they feel happy or confident in their own skin.
When a young person watches one of their role models engage in dieting and over exercise, it ‘normalises’ the behaviour. It can also increase the likelihood of your young person developing feelings of inadequacy and body dissatisfaction which may lead them to follow the same behaviours.
When we place too much emphasis on our appearance, at the exclusion of commending other achievements (kindness, sporting, academic), we reiterate the messaging so heavily broadcast by the media - that our worth is determined based solely on our appearance.
We have all been impacted by generational dieting in some way and this post isn't intended to shame anyone who may have made a comment in front of their child. It is likely that you yourself witnessed dieting growing up and carried those beliefs with you.
Here are a few tips to support your young person with their body image:
tips to support your young person
1. be mindful in front of your teen
Avoid weighing yourself and restricting your diet in front of your teen. I’m not a parent, but I have struggled with my relationship with my body and projected my insecurities onto others. It is an awful feeling, and something I would take back if I could. That said, I believe that people are doing their best with the tools that they have. At the time, I didn’t realise that me being so hypercritical of my body was having a negative impact on my little sister. I thought it was only impacting me. When I learnt that my actions were hurting her, it broke my heart. The young people in our lives often model their behaviours based on what they have seen. If they witness you being unkind to yourself, it normalises that behaviour. Watching a loved one show unconditional love towards their own body and that of others, demonstrates that no matter what a person looks like, they are worthy and loveable
2. Call food what it is
Labels such as ‘good’, ‘bad’, ‘naughty’, ‘sometimes’, ‘treat’, ‘cheat’, ‘clean’, ‘guilt free’ don’t have a place when we’re describing food. It adds morality to the food and can get in the way of your teen getting enough food because they’re scared to make the ‘wrong’ choice. Instead of saying to your teen, “I’m going to have a little chocolate as a sneaky treat.” Perhaps you could say, “I’m going to have a couple of squares of chocolate, would you like some?”. The same language can be used that evening at dinner too, you could say, “I’m adding some avocado to my taco bowl, would anyone else like any?”. By offering a variety of foods throughout the course of the day and not propping one up above another, we are fostering an environment where we allow all foods to be accepted as part of a diverse diet.
3. speak positively about your own body
This can be hard to do in a world where we constantly have an unrealistic beauty standard being dangled in front of our eyes. We can create a new narrative for our young people by speaking kindly about our bodies and what they do for us. We can do this by saying things like, “I am so proud of my body”, “I appreciate my body”, “My body is so strong.” It might be uncomfortable at the start, particularly if this is something that you struggle with. Please know that you’re not alone if this is something you find hard and that you are always worthy of asking for support for your own body image. You don’t have to wait until it’s debilitating to ask for help.
Through education and self-compassion we can change the way we feel and speak about our bodies and our diets. This is not only to support young people, it is to support us too. We are all worthy of love and belonging and when we start showing care and compassion towards ourselves, young people see that and it has a very positive impact on their self-worth and body image
If you have some tips that you would like our community to know about, send me a DM on Instagram or send me an email because I would LOVE to share it!
